1 Peter 3:1-6

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

² when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

³ Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—

⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

⁵ For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,

⁶ as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

The first two chapters of 1 Peter are clearly addressed to the Jewish believers of the dispersion who were scattered abroad after the stoning of Stephen. Seeing that Peter was not one to change horses in mid-stream, he writes “Likewise, ye wives,” that is, ye Hebrew wives. This is substantiated for us farther down in the context where he encourages these women to follow the godly example of Sarah, “whose daughters ye are. Thus, they were the physical descendants of Abraham and Sarah. …

The statement “likewise, ye wives” implies that a foregoing thought is being carried over from the previous context. Just as Christ voluntarily submitted Himself to the will of the Father, these wives were to be submissive to their own husbands. …

Peter, like the Apostle Paul, taught that every attempt should be made to salvage the marriage for the sake of the children and the unbelieving partner. A saved wife has an obligation before God to share the gospel with her husband. However, these wives were going about it in every way but the right way. … Probably the word that sums up their actions best is nagging. — Sadler, pages 99-100.

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“Obey not” is the translation of a word which speaks of a state of unbelieving disobedience. The word means literally in its verb form, “Not to allow one’s self to be persuaded.” These husbands were of that obstinate, non-persuasable type that will not listen to reason. … Peter exhorts them, in view of their husbands’ obstinate rejection of the gospel, to stop talking about it, and just live a christian life before them. … These husbands were to be led to the Lord Jesus now without a word from their wives. They knew the gospel.  The wife’s example, used by God, would do the rest. The word “won” in the Greek text means “to gain, acquire,” in the sense of the acquisition of money in James 4:13. … A soul won is a gain to our Lord who bought him, a gain to the one who won him, and a gain to that soul itself. — Wuest, pages 72-73

fear (v.2) = reverence, venerate, treat with deference or reverential obedience.

arranging the hair (v.3) — The Greek word refers to an elaborate gathering of the hair into knots. History informs us that the Roman women of that day were addicted to ridiculous extravagance in the adornment of the hair. … What the Word of God forbids the [believing] woman is a conspicuous extravagant, intricate artificiality in the manner of wearing the hair. …

As the English translation stands [the instructions about jewelry] is an absolute prohibition of the wearing of gold jewelry. But this is not the thought in the Greek text. The word translated “wearing” means literally, “putting around,” and here gives the picture of these wives covering their persons with a lavish, conspicuous display of jewelry. The wearing of jewelry is not forbidden … but a gaudy, expensive, elaborate display of the same is. … Wuest, pages 75-76.

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Peter doesn’t prohibit hairstyling, jewelry or apparel; he is simply making a case for moderation. … [He] is merely stressing the importance of avoiding worldly styles, which would draw attention to themselves. The key word here in all these areas is modesty. — Sadler, page 103

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the hidden person of the heart (v.4) — The personality of the [believing] woman made beautiful by the ministry of the Holy Spirit in glorifying the Lord Jesus and manifesting Him in and through her life. — Wuest, page 78.

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The phrase “holy women” [v.5] should not be interpreted as referring to some particular and unique class of Old Testament individuals … The word “holy” is the translation of a Greek word which means literally, “set-apart ones.” Those women lived holy lives because they separated from the world out from which God had saved them …The word “trusted” is from the Greek word meaning “to hope.” The entire expression in the Greek text describes these women as those whose hope was directed towards and rested in God … It was a habit of life with them to adorn themselves with a meek and quiet spirit, not with the habiliments of the world. — Wuest, pages 80-81

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The word “obeyed” is in the constative aorist in Greek which speaks of an action going on over a long period of time, looking at it in one single panoramic view. The whole tenor of Sarah’s life was one of obedience to her husband. She called him “lord.” The Greek word translated “lord is kurios, a word used in various ways. … The word was used in secular Greek as a title of honor addressed by subordinates to their superiors, or as a courteous appellative in the case of persons closely related. … Sarah used it as a wifely courtesy to her husband, and as a recognition of his authority over her. … These wives, by adorning themselves as Sarah did, would become her children in the sense that a child is like its mother. … The words “as long as ye do well” are the translation of one Greek word which Peter uses and which could also be rendered, “If the whole course of your life is in the doing of good.” — Wuest, pages 81-21.

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Sarah called Abraham “lord,” i.e., she recognized and submitted to his Divinely-given authority; and all wives are her daughters as long as they so act and live their lives courageously, whatever may be the threats of their ungodly husbands. They are not to be panic-stricken with fear but to persist in goodness. — Williams, page 1000.

calling him lord (v.6) — from Genesis 18:12. I don’t think Peter was likely referring specifically to this verse, but it is an example of how Sarah thought of Abraham.

Some commentaries take the view that the Hebrew wives in this passage were dressing up fancy in a deliberate attempt to get their husbands to believe in the Lord. That doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, and I’m not sure how that would work. I don’t think Peter was saying anything against a wife looking attractive for her husband. I think the point is simply, “Pay more attention to your character than to your outward appearance. Don’t follow the world and prioritize outward beauty. If you treat your husbands with submission and with a quiet, beautiful spirit, you will please the Lord and have a much better chance of convincing your husband. Put your time and effort into inward beauty rather than outward beauty.”

I also think this passage, as with the rest of the letter, has to be fully understood in the context of the audience. The readers were foreigners facing persecution. To spend time following the world’s fashions makes no sense at any time, but especially not  then, nor will make sense it during the Tribulation.